“What has been Finland for you so far? Describe it with one word.” This was the question I had to answer for the school newspaper. No wonder that it took so much time to find the right adjective. I thought it over a lot. Quick as a flash a sequence of the most important memories here. They go faster and faster, one after the other. Something moves inside me. Sitting at the table and looking out of the window, admiring the landscape around the lake and looking for some clue that might help me. Nothing, absolutely. I gaze out and get lost in my thoughts. There are too many emotions rising inside me. Countless memories, emotions, feelings, desires and expectations are overwhelming inside me. No clues, no inspiration for the answer. Now my mind is somewhere else. I stop for a while. All these images make me think. It’s so little that I’m here and I feel like I’ve always been here. Sharing everything with my friends, from the lessons, to the school lunch, from the school meetings to the free time… It feels as if I grew up with them all. As if I spent all my childhood in their company, as if I knew everything about them.
Now images of moments spent with my family are coming. How many emotions all together, all at once. They are my family now. My “äiti” and my “isä”. And also with them, the same feeling. It’s like I never arrived, just being part of the family forever. And that´s amazing. Life is crazy. And if we stop just for a moment, to think it over for a while, we will all agree. Life is crazy. “you never know” as my äiti always says. It is incredible. There are no words to describe it. And if I think about how strong the relationships that I am building, I shudder. And it is so touching that everyone wants to knows something about the “Italian girl”. and it is so great being invited to every “event” from my friends and seeing that they want to include me in what they’re doing, just to be together. And after a sauna with my friend Roosa, hearing from her “I would never have imagined getting to know you so well and being so confident and such a close friend.”
And these are little gestures that change your day.
I’ve though it and I am wordless. Really. And that’s indescribable. But that’s the power of people, transforming the simpliest things into something special and unique. And there is something magic in it, isn’t there?
Caught up in by all these emotions, I come back to the white paper on the table. The empty space is still white. It is a very hard answer. But I’ve arrived to the conclusion that there are no appropriate words to express in the correct way what I’m living, because this belongs to that group of things that you can only feel inside yourself. But it doesn’t help me. That’s not the solution to the “problematic” question. But, if I examine each day, each moment, I can notice that there is always something new, something unexpected, something to learn. And even though this word does not fit properly this question, and even though this is undoubtedly not enough for what I’m living here, my answer is “surprising”. I’m totally aware that it is not right word, but it is close enough. It underlines the fact that in life you never know. Destiny means choosing for yourself and the only thing you have to do is just close your eyes, follow your feelings and jump in. And live everything. Without missing a thing. With all its hidden surprises.
Irene Salvatore (4D)